There was definitely a time in my life where I thought everything was going to be easy when I grew up. They were called my early teen years...in fact, I think that dreamer faze lasted up till college when I quickly realized I had nothing figured out and was, essentially, fucked. What was I going to do with my life? It took five years, and a lot of shit, to finally make me realize what it was I needed to do with my life if I was stuck in a wasteland like Kentucky. But this isn’t about declaring my future career choice- it’s about life, and how sometimes you really do get handed lemons.
Work it. Make it. Do it. Makes us. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.
I’ve recently discovered someone I want to call an inspiration. Someone who came from nothing special (at, all) and has begun to create a empire off her success. I feel somewhat, I dunno, ashamed (?) looking up to a female in this way. But I digress, she definitely turns me on too despite her age. Chelsea Handler, where have you been all my life? She’s fucking hysterical, says what she wants, does what she wants, and gets paid for doing it all. She’s absolutely ridiculous in all the best ways. Now that my “one true love” has revealed herself to be less than such, I finally have decided to let go of the past and embrace my future- as soon as I get my license back.
She makes me look at many things differently and has really made me start to forget being upset and angry about being myself- but actually want to embrace it. I, am an asshole. But I’m not one of those spiteful, dick-for-the-sake-of-it assholes. No, I’m genuine in my care and compassion for people around me. Despite shortcomings, I was raised, from my perspective, fairly well. I mean, no parent is perfect, but I’ve developed a strong sense of how I’m supposed to live my life. Specifics, get fuzzy.
One thing Ive experienced recently, that I never plan to experience again, is getting a DUI. Getting a DUI certainly can wake a person up to the type of reckless behavior they partake in. I don’t just look at drinking and driving differently, but everything reckless I do. No, I’m not going to stop doing many of those reckless things (drinking and driving definitely however)- I’m just gonna to be a lot less RECKLESS with it. You can be bad, just don’t get caught. And don’t get me started on my thoughts about the “law”- it’s a fucking joke, and is about nothing other than money. It has no bearing whether you are a genuinely good person or not, for the most part.
When in jail I witnessed a fellow inmate get irate when he was being transferred from holding to the “old jail” rather than the “new jail”. I was perplexed, ‘Aren’t you worried about being in jail again, period?’ Why did this idiot have a PREFERENCE of what jail he went to? Let’s try NOT going to jail moron. In the eight or so hours I sat there waiting patiently for this fresh hell to end, I couldn’t help but kick myself and think about everything in my life I felt had gotten me to that point. About two hours in I had realzied it and was officially over it. How in the hell could someone spend YEARS in jail/prison? I was losing my mind after five hours. A month and I’d hang myself.
Some of these people were far too comfortable in their predicaments. Laughing? What could you possibly be happy about? You are in JAIL. Life sucks, shut the hell up. And yes you can have my food, just get the hell away from me.
Leaving jail, I realized that life can be so much worse. I used to hate driving, but having your license taken away makes you realize just how luxurious it is to be able to get into your car at any point and just GO. I need some weed, GO. I need to go to work, GO. What does the “law” expect a person to do if they have a job and responsibilities and can’t drive to those things. Louisville isn’t New York or Chicago. The closest bus stop is like 10-15 miles away...and I’m not biking to it. It was a first offense, I’m paying out close to $1,000 in fines and going to AA meetings that don’t apply to me at all. Isn’t that enough? Seriously. I understand DUI 2 is another story. The people cutting up in jail and complaining about whether they are going to the new or old jail deserve to be there- because for them, sadly, that is some sort of better alternative. But Judge, look at me, do I look like a threat t society? Throw a guy a bone.
See, she always knows exactly what to say.
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